Posted by Charisma is often seen as a trait or the quality of being able to attract, charm and influence people around you. We find them Attractive and they are usually easy to identify as charismatic. It, however, makes us ask ourselves why we got attracted to them or is often much harder to say exactly what skills or qualities these people have that others don’t, whom we call less charismatic.
People with charisma are found to be assertive, inspiring, confident and warm. They are good listeners and people love talking to them, and they also have an innate grace that often stops people in their tracks or makes them look back.
It is seen, a person who is charismatic is exceptionally likeable, engaging, trustworthy, and, in many cases, also seems a bit “magical” person. Famous personalities like Martin Luther King jr, Marilyn Monroe, Abraham Lincoln and Sir Richard Branson have all been known for their charismatic personalities.
University of Toronto researchers carried out a large-scale study into charisma and they found the following result.
They found that the charisma of these people consists of a mixture of what they called ‘affability’ and ‘influence’.
- Influence was defined as leadership ability and strength of ‘presence’.
- Affability was defined as being approachable and pleasant.
How you can Develop Incredible Charisma in you:
The idea that charisma is an innate personality attribute is untrue, according to psychologists. Implement these abilities into your communication style to improve your presence, perceived warmth, and likeability.
Prof (Dr) R K Suri best Clinical Psychologist suggest “that we all can be more charismatic, by mark our presence, our perceived warmth, our likability among people surrounding us by incorporating skills in our communication style”. Following are a few ways we can incorporate in our day to day life and feel attractive.
1. Body Language and Presence
We have heard enough about how our perception of someone is influenced by their body language, and how this marks our presence and is a key component of charisma. Without uttering a word, the right body language and posture can transmit strength, warmth, and likability.
Mark your persona by standing up straight, with your head up and your shoulders back. Good body posture not only makes you look confident and in control, but it also makes you feel very much approachable.
2. Smile more Often
Smile and greet is infectious, and a gateway for building relationship, however, sometime this prescription can be troublesome to women, who are taught to avoid told smiling to strangers, people do infer a smile as an invitation to approach. Incase you wish people to feel welcome you in social relationship, warm smiles open the positivity of being a charismatic.
3. Be a good and active listener, no advices
While talking with someone, ask questions, try maintaining eye contact, not keep staring or making other person uncomfortable, smile, you may frown, or just nod but respond, not so much verbally, but non-verbally. Listening shows that you care a lot about another person’s perspective more than offering advice, because when you offer advice in most cases you advice is not needed and you tend to make the conversation about you, not them.
4. Being Emotionally Intelligent and showing Empathy
There is a strong link between high Emotional Intelligence and charisma. Leaders with high emotional intelligence are able to control their emotions and are conscious of both their own feelings and those of those around them. Using this awareness they can keep themselves cool under pressure and are able to give people what they need emotionally.
Empathy understanding other people’s pain and ability to relate with them, plays an important role in making connection with people. When you’re able to understand other people’s perspectives, pain, wants, and needs, you open the door and let them in for greater understanding and connection.
Develop empathy and emotional intelligence by keeping your emotions under control, or through emotion regulation, especially when you’re tired or stressed. Pay attention to surrounding people by picking up on their body language and what they say, non-verbal cues, you’ll be able to identify or understand what they want and need, and then you can take the appropriate action.
5. Believe in giving away and not expecting anything in return
Do not think about what you can get back. Focus on what you can provide or give away. Giving is the only way to establish or feel a real connection and relationship.
As someone has said, the aim of life is to find happiness and the purpose is to give it away, it gonna make you feel satisfied internally and content.
6. Self-Confidence and Assertiveness
Charismatic people are confident in nature, and they know how to be assertive.
Build Self-Confidence in yourself. You can do this by working on/using your strengths more at work, by setting and achieving small goals from time to time, and by acquiring the knowledge and requisite skill set needed to do your job in an effective manner.
Also, you may work on your public speaking skills, so that you can speak and communicate clearly, effectively and confidently in front of a group of people.
Assertiveness is slightly different and is a way how you communicate your wants and needs, by keeping in mind or respecting the wants and needs of other people. When you’re assertive, you show kind of personal power, but you use this power with respect, kindness, and dignity. Are you a confident person or not take free self-assessment.
Assertiveness and self-confidence go hand-in-hand. Once you’ve worked on your self-confidence, you can work on how to be assertive by recognizing your wants and needs in every situation you get into and also by recognizing the wants and needs of others. Stand up appropriately and politely for what you need, means taking your stand respectfully.
7. Choose your attitude and beware of your words.
Last but not least, use appropriate words and never abuse anyone. The words you use can make a bond or break it as it affects the attitude of others and it affects you in return. Use politeness and warmth in your attitude.
Is their negative side of Charisma?
Yes. The charismatic leaders have led people crazy, like self-harm, harming others etc. Various studies are being conducted on the negative impact of charismatic leaders on organizations. It is suggested to analyze completely the leadership styles of leaders before following them.
References or Suggested Reading
- “Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People” by Vanessa Van Edwards
- “The Irresistible Introvert: Harness the Power of Quiet Charisma in a Loud World” by Michaela Chung
- “The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism” by Olivia Fox Cabane.
- “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie
- “The Like Switch” by Dr. Jacker Schafer
- “How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less” by Nicholas Boothman